One of the board behind me is the seven step Life Coaching framework.
This is one that I use is one that I apply as one that I constantly refer back to evaluate and assess
where am I in life and how it is that I can continue to progress and move forward.
But this most likely isn't going to mean anything to you right now.
You see I've written all the seven steps on the board behind me because these seven steps can be followed
in a linear process like a linear order.
They're kind of are our framework that we're Hollin all of the time when we get stuck in some area for
life.
It's because we haven't moved beyond one of those steps.
I don't know if that makes sense or not at all.
So to help this makes sense to you what I'm going to do through the section is explain to you how it
is that I use the seven step framework so I'm going to primarily be talking about myself with real life
experience through which I'm hoping that you are able to relate.
Because if you are able to really then you're going to understand and if you understand you will then
be able to authentically share.
No.
I could just do what most online courses do today and just say these are the seven steps.
This is the information.
Good luck with that.
But I'm not interested in doing that.
I want help you to understand stuff.
Hence the reason I'm self disclosing and being completely honest about myself.
So I have given a reference throughout the course that I have not lived a perfect life.
What qualifies me as a life coach.
Well I could see as the certificates I have the qualifications or I could say is actually the amount
of mistakes that I've made throughout life because I have screwed my life up so many times you would
not believe.
And it's one of these major screw ups.
In fact the major screw up that I'm going to use to illustrate how it was that I applied those seven
steps No I would like to help you cast your mind back right to the very first section of the course.
Do you remember the story that told you the story that are shared about the guy who fell into the hole.
Remember the guy was walk along the road he wasn't really paying attention to where he was going.
Then he fell into a hole.
There was just too deep.
He couldn't get himself out of.
Well he can remember go back watch that video after after this one and remind yourself because that
guy was actually me one day and this was a couple of months after I left the Army going through the
previous sections of the Course I've shared with you how my own personal identity beliefs were developed
and I've also shared how it was Virts.
I'd grown to identify myself as being a soldier.
I think I also shared how after I'd left the army of this kind caused me the main crisis because although
I believed that I was sawder and this was the social label the identity that I'd attached to myself.
No there wasn't a soldier.
This left me in a state of complete identity crisis.
No because I didn't know who are was any more felt anxious about my future.
I was depressed about my past.
No.
When I was in 2005 I think after you know am a handful of suicide attempts.
You know the first one was just drank and drugs I tried to overdose give myself just a bad l.a. the
second suicide attempt was me going to the train tracks.
I laid over on the train tracks but unfortunately because it was quarter past 11:00 at night and mr.
strain and then my third and final suicide attempt was actually in New Zealand a few years later where
I attempted to jump Jump off a viaduct Bridge which I escaped completely unharmed from the just bones
of tree branches that projected me into a pool of mud.
What I'm seeing here is that this is kind of the worst case scenario was it.
It doesn't really matter what problems people come to you with a life coach.
If someone is so hell bent and focussed on ending their life they genuinely feel or believe that there's
nothing left for them to live for.
They have to believe that the world is actually going to be a better place if they are no longer with
us.
There's not really too many holes deeper than that that you could find yourself in in life or about
your future clients could find themselves in in life.
No just to be clear here.
All right.
Going back then going to take complete responsibility for how selfish I was because I had gone to the
doctors and the doctors who said yes Ken you are depressed you have depression.
That said yes.
You also have anxiety and you also have post-traumatic stress disorder and back then because I was 24
or 25 years old I thought Holy shit.
So I have depression anxiety and pushrod money stress disorder.
That must be the reason why I'm so suicidal right now.
I've got a disease of illness.
I'm screwed because the doctors and the medical professionals and the medication didn't work then do
anything in change.
If I want to be completely honest here my primary focus back then at that stage of my life was me.
Life was all about me.
I was the centre of my universe.
I didn't care about anyone else.
I didn't care about anything else.
I wasn't contributing back into the world in any way.
I wasn't making a difference in anyone's life.
The only person I cared about was me my happiness.
Me having a nice time I was a selfish arsehole I pardon left French.
So it took me up until 2007 after the last and final suicide attempt.
Ended up I was I'd become sort destructive immoral Asian shep's I mean that because I was so needy I
was clinging onto people and looking for people to make me well to fix me to humour me.
Garrels I would manage to manipulate and in and be with me then I would use them and I would abuse them
and be so desperate.
And it was actually after losing a lost friend that I actually had someone that it cared about.
I was drunk when my turned really abusive towards them when they think they wouldn't have this wouldn't
they greedy to go home and sleep with me Ray something like that was ridiculous.
I was so selfish and I woke up the next morning with this with this pounding headache was looking at
my wife and this completely different way.
Previously I was looking at my life I was feeling sorry for myself I was poor and me so sad.
I don't half what I want.
I don't know if I'm going to be able to get what I want.
Me me me a walk this morning and realized how it was that I was actually treating other people.
For the first time my whole life I became so completely aware of the role that I was pulling in the
outcomes of my life and the quality of my life and the quality of my relationships.
And when I realized that you know what I am treating people like shit I adored communique in a mature
way.
Actor behave in a mature way.
How was the day that I realized that that I alone and I'm the catalyst for change.
No one's going to come into my life and fix me.
No one cares.
Everyone else is just trying to make their way in life.
And this was the day that instantaneously.
I took the first step on the first step is just a mental step for me.
It took me to hit rock bottom hard enough.
There was nowhere else to go.
Then when a liver had no friends I was scared.
I was brought back.
No one wanted anything to do with me.
And that was the day that I made a decision to change.
You see up until that point then a one taken responsibility for my life.
I took responsibility for my actions from behaviours from limiting beliefs for my attitude sometimes
for the way which I would conduct myself or communicate with others.
For me back then my perspective was everyone else's fault.
My life is the way that it is a Huntington responsibility for anything.
And this is what I'm going to suggest.
The first step.
That anyone in life can take towards moving forward making progress simply making a decision to change.
And we're not talking about just having an idea that changing is a nice idea.
I think I'd like to change.
It's when our preferences become an absolute must.
We're rubicam so hell bent so forecasts so driven we are telling ourselves stories such as things are
never going to be the same.
I will never go back to living that way that I've lived before in the past and to be honest with you
as a life coach.
It depends on the calibre of the results you want to get.
If your goal is just to make money and make people feel nice then people will become dependent on you
because as the thousands people over there they just want someone else in the world to make them feel
nice.
There's plenty of people in the world who haven't yet taken responsibility for themselves and who haven't
yet made a decision to change.
No.
You see this whole course has kind of been pointing towards.
That's in a sneaky kind of way because earlier on in the course we talked about the four traits maturity
and character maturity decisiveness consistency and strength and honour.
This begins through a person's willingness to assume full responsibility for their life and it's only
when we take full responsibility for our lives.
Do we become able to recognize that you know what.
There's absolutely no one else or nothing else in the world that can make me feel better.
So this leaves us with a choice Do I commit the rest of my life towards pursuing things that I hope
were just going to simply help me feel better.
Are I willing to make a decision today to commit the rest of my life towards becoming better.
Because this is going to determine the calibre of the results that you want to get into your life coaching
clients.
If you commit to working with people who just want to feel better yeah they're going to become dependent
on you.
They get injured going to keep on coming back and giving you money.
You're actually never going to make progress with them.
They're never going to move forward because they haven't yet taken responsibility for themselves.
Some moving forward progressing in life get away from self-esteem and towards self concept always begins
with making a committed decision to change not a half hard decision.
Not at all.
I think it would be nice some day but a whole hearted undivided fully committed decision to change.
This is the first step that your clients should really already have taken before even coming to you
for life coaching.
If you're able to see this they are going to be proactive they are going to be coming to you with fantastic
questions and it's going to make you roll was a life coach phenomenally rewarding.
If they haven't made a decision to change they're going to come to you and sit there like that.
Hands open mouth open waiting for you to feed them.
They just want a fresh.
Remember the flesh.
Give a man a fish you eat for the day.
What if they haven't made a decision to change.
Then you can give them as many fish as they want.
See tomorrow.
That is going to keep on coming back.
If you want that that's fine.
That's not okay for me.
And that's not what I've ever found to be rewarding or for feeling at all.
So that's step one.
Hope it makes sense.
Look forward to seeing you in the next venue where we're going to take things just a little bit further.